12.21.2010
Crush
As much as I seriously hate to admit this, I think Kate Middleton is my new idol. If I could dress like her every day I would. I feel like that sums up my style in a nutshell...classic, classy, put-together, not too trendy or flashy, delicate, perfectly tailored...I could seriously go on and on. Unfortunately I will be wearing mostly scrubs in my day-to-day life for the forseeable future and I can't afford all the fancy clothes on a medical student's salary, but for now I have a big girl crush. I can't help it...can you blame me??
12.19.2010
Vacay
Well, it's Christmas vacation...finally! I was so stressed out about my paper that I haven't been excited about it at all. Now after writing 10 pages and using 51 sources in the end, I can sort of relax. Tomorrow I have to drive for another interview, so really Wednesday is when I can let it ALL go and just focus on Christmas and New Year's.
Last rant about my paper, I promise: I found out that the only other girl who is doing this elective right now (and we're the first ones to take it) only used 3 sources for her paper and only had to meet with him 1 time during her 4 week elective (I had to meet with him 3 times in person during my 3 weeks, costing me an additional $500+ in airfare flying cross country to do that). NOT happy, at all. But I can't say anything about it because my professor is a "big guy" in a residency program that will be high on my list...I can't be a complainer before I match there or else I might not match at all!
Now I am going to try to embrace the Christmas season, put school behind me for a few days, and be glad to spend time with my extended family. We'll only be missing my uncle, who is 6 months into his 1 year tour of Afghanistan...come home safe!!
Merry Christmas Season!
Last rant about my paper, I promise: I found out that the only other girl who is doing this elective right now (and we're the first ones to take it) only used 3 sources for her paper and only had to meet with him 1 time during her 4 week elective (I had to meet with him 3 times in person during my 3 weeks, costing me an additional $500+ in airfare flying cross country to do that). NOT happy, at all. But I can't say anything about it because my professor is a "big guy" in a residency program that will be high on my list...I can't be a complainer before I match there or else I might not match at all!
Now I am going to try to embrace the Christmas season, put school behind me for a few days, and be glad to spend time with my extended family. We'll only be missing my uncle, who is 6 months into his 1 year tour of Afghanistan...come home safe!!
Merry Christmas Season!
12.10.2010
Pressure
So many things to update, so little time!
1. My residency interview last week TOTALLY threw me for a loop. I thought for sure my first choice program would be at my home-base, but this last interview was AMAZING. The town is exactly the kind of place I always pictured myself living, where I feel like I really belong; the program has all kinds of cool features (tracks: during 2nd and 3rd year, you get 16 hours "off" a month to pursue particular interests, like toxicology or medical education (totally my thing); scribes: they have a pre-med follow you around and document everything you do while on shift, meaning no documenting/no dictating/way less hassle! This is amazing- documentation is the bane of every doctor's existance); it is close to some of my extended family, etc. It is a program that I would truly brag about being accepted at, and that is very attractive to me. Only downside: I feel that I fit in better with the residents here at home. Not that I don't get along with these other residents; they are very nice. I think it's that 3/4 of them are married and lots have families- they are just in a different place in their lives than I am currently. If I am going to pick up and move far away from everyone I know, I want people who have time to hang out with me outside work! I know that is selfish, but it IS three years of my life here! I am totally torn and very anxious for my upcoming interviews to throw more wrenches in the process.
2. This "reading elective" turned 10 page paper took a turn for the worse 2 days ago. I thought I could write a 10 pager with probably 10-15 sources (journal articles). Oh no. My mentor said he anticipated that I would need to cite 50-60 and that I had to include all of the trials that had been published recently. Whoa. So I did a literature search...1530 articles in the last 10 years only. So what choice did I have? I skimmed through all of their titles, throwing out ones that were definitely not related...that got me down to 620. Then I had to start looking closer at their abstracts (short summaries) to decide if they were worth my time...down to 200. I managed to do all of that yesterday (powered through!). 200 is still WAY too many, so I whimped out and contacted my mentor, telling him that it wasn't realistic to read all of those PLUS write my paper PLUS fly across the country and interview by next Friday, so I had to narrow my paper topic a bit. Luckily he agreed, but now I have to go through the 200 articles I have pulled and throw a bunch more out. Basically I am spending all day/night today doing that. So that means I have to read SO much tomorrow, write a TON on Sunday, and have a rough draft to give to him on Monday (the day I fly out of town til after Christmas). This is SERIOUSLY stressing me out! Luckily, D went out of town so I can hole up in the apartment alone and just pound out the work without any distractions.
3. I only have 5 months and 3 days left until graduation. This is I-N-S-A-N-E. I am not ready for this. I am not ready to leave school behind forever. I am more nostalgic than ever for college. Even though residency is a lot like school still (presentations and tests and assigned reading), I am going to miss school dearly. I am sure once I'm done with residency I'll start working on my BA in Philosophy (something I have always wanted to go back and do). I'll be in school forever!
That's all for now, I need to get back to sorting through articles. The pressure is on in so many ways right now! And I wonder why I have no time for a personal life?!? More on that later...
1. My residency interview last week TOTALLY threw me for a loop. I thought for sure my first choice program would be at my home-base, but this last interview was AMAZING. The town is exactly the kind of place I always pictured myself living, where I feel like I really belong; the program has all kinds of cool features (tracks: during 2nd and 3rd year, you get 16 hours "off" a month to pursue particular interests, like toxicology or medical education (totally my thing); scribes: they have a pre-med follow you around and document everything you do while on shift, meaning no documenting/no dictating/way less hassle! This is amazing- documentation is the bane of every doctor's existance); it is close to some of my extended family, etc. It is a program that I would truly brag about being accepted at, and that is very attractive to me. Only downside: I feel that I fit in better with the residents here at home. Not that I don't get along with these other residents; they are very nice. I think it's that 3/4 of them are married and lots have families- they are just in a different place in their lives than I am currently. If I am going to pick up and move far away from everyone I know, I want people who have time to hang out with me outside work! I know that is selfish, but it IS three years of my life here! I am totally torn and very anxious for my upcoming interviews to throw more wrenches in the process.
2. This "reading elective" turned 10 page paper took a turn for the worse 2 days ago. I thought I could write a 10 pager with probably 10-15 sources (journal articles). Oh no. My mentor said he anticipated that I would need to cite 50-60 and that I had to include all of the trials that had been published recently. Whoa. So I did a literature search...1530 articles in the last 10 years only. So what choice did I have? I skimmed through all of their titles, throwing out ones that were definitely not related...that got me down to 620. Then I had to start looking closer at their abstracts (short summaries) to decide if they were worth my time...down to 200. I managed to do all of that yesterday (powered through!). 200 is still WAY too many, so I whimped out and contacted my mentor, telling him that it wasn't realistic to read all of those PLUS write my paper PLUS fly across the country and interview by next Friday, so I had to narrow my paper topic a bit. Luckily he agreed, but now I have to go through the 200 articles I have pulled and throw a bunch more out. Basically I am spending all day/night today doing that. So that means I have to read SO much tomorrow, write a TON on Sunday, and have a rough draft to give to him on Monday (the day I fly out of town til after Christmas). This is SERIOUSLY stressing me out! Luckily, D went out of town so I can hole up in the apartment alone and just pound out the work without any distractions.
3. I only have 5 months and 3 days left until graduation. This is I-N-S-A-N-E. I am not ready for this. I am not ready to leave school behind forever. I am more nostalgic than ever for college. Even though residency is a lot like school still (presentations and tests and assigned reading), I am going to miss school dearly. I am sure once I'm done with residency I'll start working on my BA in Philosophy (something I have always wanted to go back and do). I'll be in school forever!
That's all for now, I need to get back to sorting through articles. The pressure is on in so many ways right now! And I wonder why I have no time for a personal life?!? More on that later...
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