I'm back to boredom unfortunately. My morning clinic was cancelled today and tomorrow. This afternoon I spent talking about golf and traveling to Europe and driving tickets with two attendings while the fellows saw all the patients. This is my last week on outpatient, and I have to say that I'm glad. I enjoy the specialty clinics, but even there I am a little bit bored. I hate to say that and it seems like I just complain about EVERYTHING lately, but that's really how I feel about it. This is just not as exciting as I hoped it would be yet. I'm sure that by the middle of next week I will be kicking myself for complaining about having such a lax schedule, but it is just killing me right now.
When I'm not in school I should be studying. I don't really want to, so I'm not, but I feel guilty doing anything else, so mostly I just sit around. And that's boring. I had a huge talk with D last night about how I think I have become a boring person. There are a lot of things that I want to do, but I am either too lazy or too boring or too cheap or too busy or too whatever to pursue them. I shouldn't put things off because I fully believe in living for today, but I just feel SO guilty doing things that aren't school related when I know I have school things to be doing. Hopefully I can find some balance here soon because if not I will either fail out of school or be doomed to being the most boring person on earth.
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