Pause

Reading over my last post, most of those things still ring true. Except now I am even more overwhelmed. Right now just focusing on my multiple choice exam and my residency application. My sleep cycle is SO crazy (go to bed at 3am, wake up at noon). I am studying every day; it is getting to be a LOT of information. I'm not eating all that well. All I do is drive/study/drive/watch tv/sleep. And I have made zero progress on my application (sort of by choice...I can't think about that and try to study at the same time- it is too good of a distractor). I'm exhausted, cranky, hungry, and feeling inadequate. Oh, for it to be 2 weeks from now when it will all be over!!

Two things that are different:
1. The last thing on my list...not so let down. Too busy to really think about it right now, and maybe that has something to do with why I'm not let down, but whatever. Just takin it slow. Super slow. Maybe that's all I can handle right now.
2. Update about my surgery shelf grade: the NBME (National Board of Medical Examiners), who administers and grades the test, never graded mine. Last I hear, my answer sheet got left in my test booklet which was subsequently stored in a warehouse. They have sent for my test book and will grade my exam and notify my school by Tuesday. Slight panic attack. As long as they find it and grade it and it's actually mine, it'll be fine.

Totally different note: even though I am 6 weeks in, I just realized this is my last year of school. EVER. This is huge for someone who has been in school continuously for going on 22 years. I'm kind of sad that I didn't realize it at the time and take a "last first day of school" picture or something. Kind of forgot about it when I didn't get a summer break. Anyways, this makes me a little sad and scared...what will I do in the adult world? Because I am more and more convinced that a lot of what med school does is push back the real world (if you go straight from college). I'm excited for it, but I like school...I've always been good at school...school is my safe place (not so much since med school, but that's a different story...). Time to get on with the rest of the things I hope and dream for my life. So here's to a great last year...I know it'll go too quick. It's already almost September...sheesh.