I am finished with my OB rotation...W-O-W it went fast! The most frustrating/annoying/difficult thing about 3rd year is that just as soon as you start to feel comfortable on a rotation (you know where everything is, you get along with your residents, the attendings remember your name, you know what is expected of you and can stop worrying about doing something wrong and start actually thinking critically about the patients and their problems) you switch to a new one. And the cycle starts all over again. Naturally, that is what has just happened with OB.
I had a hard time on this rotation in the beginning, but it had gotten much better by the end. I still didn't feel as comfortable on the rotation and with the patients and the diagnoses that I was seeing as I had on some other rotations, but I was getting the hang of it. I am sad to leave this rotation as there were things about it I had come to really like. I actually liked the clinic part of this rotation; there were a couple of patients that I saw in the clinic multiple times and that was pretty cool.
I did not get my wish of doing things in the OR this past week...we had a really huge team (an attending, an intern, a 3rd year and a 4th year resident) and since they all take preference over me for doing procedures I didn't get to do ANYTHING. I literally only scrubbed in for 1 case all week. The others were all laparoscopic or robotic cases, and so there is really only room for 2 people to be scrubbed in and around the patient. It was disappointing. It was also a little annoying to be there from 5:30am-10pm some days where I literally did not do a single thing. On the other hand, the attending was SO fun to be in the OR with, and was really apologetic about me not getting to do anything, so I guess I'm not that upset.
Three day weekend (YAY!!) and then surgery on Tuesday. I didn't get a whole lot of practice on OB for my surgery tasks, but hopefully I'm ready!
5.29.2010
5.22.2010
Home Stretch
I have one week left on OB and then onto 5 weeks of surgery...after that and 1 week of b-o-r-i-n-g lectures I will be a 4th year!!
My last week of OB is on Gyn Surgery, so hysterectomies, ectopic removals, cancer resection, etc. Basically I have 6 weeks of surgery. I am alright with this, as long as I get to do SOMETHING in the OR. Even if it is just holding the suction thing and sucking away the smoke that the bovy makes (bovy= metal wand thing that burns/cauterizes vessels and burns through fat). If I am not doing anything I am SO bored and get really tired of standing there with noone saying anything and me not doing anything. Some of these gyn surgeries can go 6, 7, 8 hours or more if they are big cancer resections. That is a long time to stand, not touch anything (because I'm scrubbed in and sterile), not eat or pee or drink anything and not talk. So I am going to be aggressive about doing something, anything. Hopefully I can help stitch someone up at the end of the surgery. The surgeons have to like you and trust your skills for that to happen, so I need to really bust my butt and show off.
I can't believe 3rd year is almost over. This is probably the hardest year (as a whole) in med school. It was difficult, but I have had a GREAT time. The next hardest year will be my intern year after graduation. Interview season will be difficult, but as a whole 4th year should be really fun...easier schedules, no tests, way less pressure. It is hard to wrap my head around the fact that all these years of working hard at school are almost over. I am almost to the point where I will have a job that requires no additional work outside of work hours.
Lately I have been really looking forward to having a life outside of school. I really feel like I have been missing that for the last few years. Outside of school I have nothing; no house to really spruce up, no vacations to plan, no one to take care of, no real consistent hobbies. I think it is really sad that by the time this is all over, my 20's will be almost entirely over and all I will have to show for it is a career. Now don't get me wrong, that is a huge deal, and it will give me so many opportunities for the rest of my life. But I want more than a career. As soon as surgery is over (I know, another delay, but seriously it is NOT possible until after that 5 weeks is over) I am going to start doing things to round out my life. When I was in high school I was so proud of the fact that I was so well rounded. I have totally lost that and I need to get it back. More specific plans to come later.
My last week of OB is on Gyn Surgery, so hysterectomies, ectopic removals, cancer resection, etc. Basically I have 6 weeks of surgery. I am alright with this, as long as I get to do SOMETHING in the OR. Even if it is just holding the suction thing and sucking away the smoke that the bovy makes (bovy= metal wand thing that burns/cauterizes vessels and burns through fat). If I am not doing anything I am SO bored and get really tired of standing there with noone saying anything and me not doing anything. Some of these gyn surgeries can go 6, 7, 8 hours or more if they are big cancer resections. That is a long time to stand, not touch anything (because I'm scrubbed in and sterile), not eat or pee or drink anything and not talk. So I am going to be aggressive about doing something, anything. Hopefully I can help stitch someone up at the end of the surgery. The surgeons have to like you and trust your skills for that to happen, so I need to really bust my butt and show off.
I can't believe 3rd year is almost over. This is probably the hardest year (as a whole) in med school. It was difficult, but I have had a GREAT time. The next hardest year will be my intern year after graduation. Interview season will be difficult, but as a whole 4th year should be really fun...easier schedules, no tests, way less pressure. It is hard to wrap my head around the fact that all these years of working hard at school are almost over. I am almost to the point where I will have a job that requires no additional work outside of work hours.
Lately I have been really looking forward to having a life outside of school. I really feel like I have been missing that for the last few years. Outside of school I have nothing; no house to really spruce up, no vacations to plan, no one to take care of, no real consistent hobbies. I think it is really sad that by the time this is all over, my 20's will be almost entirely over and all I will have to show for it is a career. Now don't get me wrong, that is a huge deal, and it will give me so many opportunities for the rest of my life. But I want more than a career. As soon as surgery is over (I know, another delay, but seriously it is NOT possible until after that 5 weeks is over) I am going to start doing things to round out my life. When I was in high school I was so proud of the fact that I was so well rounded. I have totally lost that and I need to get it back. More specific plans to come later.
5.06.2010
In Brief
Um, it's been a while! Here's a summary:
Finished Neuro. Had a GREAT experience. Don't think I can do it as a career because neuro diseases are so devastating and usually there is no cure and in a lot of cases no great treatment. But that is hard for me to say. I really liked it.
Spring Break. Such a nice break.
Emergency Department (ED) rotation. Rocked. My. World. I loved every second of it from day one. The traumas, the routine people coming in (women miscarrying, asthma exacerbations, chest pain, cellulitis), my interactions with the residents, how much everyone really cared about the patients, how BUSY everything was, how quick decisions were made and how quick results were obtained, getting to DO things (stitches, pelvic exams, ultrasound, re-locating joints), etc. I could rave on and on about it.
Anesthesia rotation. It was alright. I learned a lot about physiology that I forgot, saw some cool surgeries, but talk about a lot of down time. Wow.
Started my OB rotation. Not stellar. I don't hate it, but I definitely don't love it. I have not really been getting that overwhelming feeling of awe when a baby is born that I was expecting to. And the rotation is hard...the residents and attendings are very critical and judging everything you do it feels like. Haven't had that in a while, so glad that is almost over. Very long hours...13 hour days at work at least, 30 hour calls once a week. Literally I get up at 4am, work 5am-6pm, get home at 6:30pm, go to bed at 8pm. Since I'm supposed to be studying everyday when I'm not at work, that really cuts down on the other things I can do (laundry, grocery shop, cook)!
Planning my 4th year is still an issue. Now that I've 98% decided on Emergency Medicine my schedule needs some tweaking. A work in progress.
So that's it in a nutshell. My life is consumed by school. This will continue until at least July 4th because after OB I go onto Surgery, where the hours are even worse and the attendings even harsher (or so I hear). Wish me luck!
Finished Neuro. Had a GREAT experience. Don't think I can do it as a career because neuro diseases are so devastating and usually there is no cure and in a lot of cases no great treatment. But that is hard for me to say. I really liked it.
Spring Break. Such a nice break.
Emergency Department (ED) rotation. Rocked. My. World. I loved every second of it from day one. The traumas, the routine people coming in (women miscarrying, asthma exacerbations, chest pain, cellulitis), my interactions with the residents, how much everyone really cared about the patients, how BUSY everything was, how quick decisions were made and how quick results were obtained, getting to DO things (stitches, pelvic exams, ultrasound, re-locating joints), etc. I could rave on and on about it.
Anesthesia rotation. It was alright. I learned a lot about physiology that I forgot, saw some cool surgeries, but talk about a lot of down time. Wow.
Started my OB rotation. Not stellar. I don't hate it, but I definitely don't love it. I have not really been getting that overwhelming feeling of awe when a baby is born that I was expecting to. And the rotation is hard...the residents and attendings are very critical and judging everything you do it feels like. Haven't had that in a while, so glad that is almost over. Very long hours...13 hour days at work at least, 30 hour calls once a week. Literally I get up at 4am, work 5am-6pm, get home at 6:30pm, go to bed at 8pm. Since I'm supposed to be studying everyday when I'm not at work, that really cuts down on the other things I can do (laundry, grocery shop, cook)!
Planning my 4th year is still an issue. Now that I've 98% decided on Emergency Medicine my schedule needs some tweaking. A work in progress.
So that's it in a nutshell. My life is consumed by school. This will continue until at least July 4th because after OB I go onto Surgery, where the hours are even worse and the attendings even harsher (or so I hear). Wish me luck!
2.27.2010
Decisions, Decisions
I took a quiz online (from a university's med school website) to tell me what specialty I should pick for my career. It assigned a point value to each specialty based on my answers; I had the same score for a number of specialties so they are a tie. These are the results (with some comments by me):
1. (46 points) ophthalmology (I do not have the grades for this)
dermatology (ditto)
2. (45 points) endocrinology (I would have to do internal medicine first, #7 on this list. yuck)
pathology (um, I said I LIKE talking to people...)
plastic surgery (see #1)
3. (44 points) urology (see #1)
neurosurgery (see #1)
emergency medicine (actually one I was considering!!)
allergy and immunology (I also would have to do internal medicine first)
4. (43 points) anesthesiology (I like TALKING too much for this)
gastroenterology (internal medicine first)
physical medicine and rehabilitation
occupational medicine (I have no idea what this even is)
5. (42 points) radiology (again, I LIKE people...)
rheumatology (internal medicine first)
neurology (I am on this right now and I do like it)
infectious diseases (internal medicine first)
6. (41 points) hematology (internal medicine first)
nephrology (internal medicine first)
radiation oncology (I am not a physicist)
nuclear medicine (again, I am not a physicist)
otolaryngology/ENT (don't have the grades)
pediatrics (another thing I thought I REALLY wanted...hmm, so low on the list!)
7. (40 points) thoracic surgery (general surgery first...um, no)
orthopedic surgery (don't have the grades)
pulmonology (internal medicine first)
colorectal surgery (general surgery first)
internal medicine (hurl)
8. (39 points) medical oncology (internal medicine first)
general surgery (seriously, shoot me now with those hours and those attitudes)
aerospace medicine (no idea what this is)
9. (38 points) psychiatry (something I thought I would like but is just ok)
preventive medicine (don't know what this is)
obstetrics and gynecology (wow, this is lower than I thought it would be)
10. (37 points) cardiology (internal medicine first)
11. (35 points) family medicine (really liked my rotation, could never do it as a career)
While this list is interesting, if you look at the point spread, it is only a one point difference between each ranking and there are multiple specialties that tied at each rank. So basically, I am just as indecisive as I thought I was. There are a lot I can cross off the list, but of note is that all the ones that I said I would have to do medicine first (ex. endocrine, hematology, nephrology, etc.), I could also do pediatrics first. Now we might have something here. Even though peds is lower on the list, I always said that I would probably not do general peds, I would subspecialize. The highest subspecialty on the list is endocrinology. So I guess according to this list I should do endocrinology over emergency medicine. But again, only by one point.
Also of note, lately I have been saying that if I had 2 lifetimes to live I would spend one of them as a neurosurgeon (and that was as high as emergency on the list). I am exposed to a lot of neurosurgery on my current rotation (neurology), and I am completely in awe of the neurosurgeons and what they do...it is so amazing. However, you literally don't have any other aspect of your life if you have that as your career, and I'm not willing to devote the one lifetime I do have to my career, no matter how awesome it is. (And I also currently don't have the grades.)
Basically this was not that helpful! I just don't know myself well enough I guess, or exactly what I feared would happen is happening...I love something about everything. What to do now?
1. (46 points) ophthalmology (I do not have the grades for this)
dermatology (ditto)
2. (45 points) endocrinology (I would have to do internal medicine first, #7 on this list. yuck)
pathology (um, I said I LIKE talking to people...)
plastic surgery (see #1)
3. (44 points) urology (see #1)
neurosurgery (see #1)
emergency medicine (actually one I was considering!!)
allergy and immunology (I also would have to do internal medicine first)
4. (43 points) anesthesiology (I like TALKING too much for this)
gastroenterology (internal medicine first)
physical medicine and rehabilitation
occupational medicine (I have no idea what this even is)
5. (42 points) radiology (again, I LIKE people...)
rheumatology (internal medicine first)
neurology (I am on this right now and I do like it)
infectious diseases (internal medicine first)
6. (41 points) hematology (internal medicine first)
nephrology (internal medicine first)
radiation oncology (I am not a physicist)
nuclear medicine (again, I am not a physicist)
otolaryngology/ENT (don't have the grades)
pediatrics (another thing I thought I REALLY wanted...hmm, so low on the list!)
7. (40 points) thoracic surgery (general surgery first...um, no)
orthopedic surgery (don't have the grades)
pulmonology (internal medicine first)
colorectal surgery (general surgery first)
internal medicine (hurl)
8. (39 points) medical oncology (internal medicine first)
general surgery (seriously, shoot me now with those hours and those attitudes)
aerospace medicine (no idea what this is)
9. (38 points) psychiatry (something I thought I would like but is just ok)
preventive medicine (don't know what this is)
obstetrics and gynecology (wow, this is lower than I thought it would be)
10. (37 points) cardiology (internal medicine first)
11. (35 points) family medicine (really liked my rotation, could never do it as a career)
While this list is interesting, if you look at the point spread, it is only a one point difference between each ranking and there are multiple specialties that tied at each rank. So basically, I am just as indecisive as I thought I was. There are a lot I can cross off the list, but of note is that all the ones that I said I would have to do medicine first (ex. endocrine, hematology, nephrology, etc.), I could also do pediatrics first. Now we might have something here. Even though peds is lower on the list, I always said that I would probably not do general peds, I would subspecialize. The highest subspecialty on the list is endocrinology. So I guess according to this list I should do endocrinology over emergency medicine. But again, only by one point.
Also of note, lately I have been saying that if I had 2 lifetimes to live I would spend one of them as a neurosurgeon (and that was as high as emergency on the list). I am exposed to a lot of neurosurgery on my current rotation (neurology), and I am completely in awe of the neurosurgeons and what they do...it is so amazing. However, you literally don't have any other aspect of your life if you have that as your career, and I'm not willing to devote the one lifetime I do have to my career, no matter how awesome it is. (And I also currently don't have the grades.)
Basically this was not that helpful! I just don't know myself well enough I guess, or exactly what I feared would happen is happening...I love something about everything. What to do now?
2.17.2010
Thoughts
Just a couple things...
I meant to blog this on Monday, but I got caught up...better late than never. I had my first patient die on Saturday. She came into the hospital late Thursday night with a massive stroke. I saw her on Friday, and she did not look too good. She couldn't follow any commands, she could only move one side of her body, and couldn't open her eyes or track. I had a feeling she wouldn't make it through the weekend, and come Monday I found out I was right...she had swelling in her brain (common with a stroke) and her brain herniated through the bottom of her skull. Even though I only saw her once and didn't have a whole lot of interaction with her, I want to remember her. Everyone remembers their "first" of a lot of things (first patient, first code, first angry patient, etc.), and I think it's important to remember her.
Second, Lent starts today. I did not get ashes today because of being at work (I also didn't look to see when the services were at my church...I might have been able to make one this evening but oh well), but D and I have decided what we're giving up. Fried food and chips. We both came to this exact conclusion separately, which is hilarious. We don't eat these things often, but it is something that we would have to consciously not do, and it is something good to give up. I always try to DO something during Lent as well, not just give things up, and I haven't decided what to do this year yet. Guess I'd better figure it out in the next 4 hours before I go to sleep and do it so I don't start out behind!
I meant to blog this on Monday, but I got caught up...better late than never. I had my first patient die on Saturday. She came into the hospital late Thursday night with a massive stroke. I saw her on Friday, and she did not look too good. She couldn't follow any commands, she could only move one side of her body, and couldn't open her eyes or track. I had a feeling she wouldn't make it through the weekend, and come Monday I found out I was right...she had swelling in her brain (common with a stroke) and her brain herniated through the bottom of her skull. Even though I only saw her once and didn't have a whole lot of interaction with her, I want to remember her. Everyone remembers their "first" of a lot of things (first patient, first code, first angry patient, etc.), and I think it's important to remember her.
Second, Lent starts today. I did not get ashes today because of being at work (I also didn't look to see when the services were at my church...I might have been able to make one this evening but oh well), but D and I have decided what we're giving up. Fried food and chips. We both came to this exact conclusion separately, which is hilarious. We don't eat these things often, but it is something that we would have to consciously not do, and it is something good to give up. I always try to DO something during Lent as well, not just give things up, and I haven't decided what to do this year yet. Guess I'd better figure it out in the next 4 hours before I go to sleep and do it so I don't start out behind!
2.14.2010
V-Day
Today has been an interesting day.
7am- alarm goes off. No chance of getting up. Reset alarm for 8.
8am- alarm goes off again. Lay in bed basking in the sun.
8:30am- get up
9:15am-noon- sister's volleyball tournament with mom and dad. They did great!
Noon-4pm- eat lunch, chat with D, do laundry
4:30-5:30pm- pedicure with D. Too bad I'm so ticklish!
5:30-7pm- eat D's grandma's chicken casserole (SO good), more laundry, more chatting
7-9pm- watch The Holiday with a glass of wine
I basically forgot about it being Valentine's Day today until I left the volleyball tournament and my mom said "Happy Valentine's Day!". I have come to really hate this day. Why should love only get one day of celebration all year? I mean, it would be selfish to celebrate yourself every day, so you have one birthday; it would be silly to celebrate something like the Presidents every day, so they get one assigned day. But love? I mean, come on. This is what makes life worth living...the love you have for yourself, your family, your friends, your dog, your plush towels, etc. You should celebrate the loves in your life every day. Saying "I love you" should never be said out of routine or obligation, but look at the person you're saying it to and really, really mean it. I don't want flowers on this day. I don't want red and pink (I really dislike pink) everything. I would rather be reminded on a random day that someone loves me.
Today I celebrated loving myself. I don't have a significant other to tell me how great I am, so I decided to tell myself. I did what I wanted, I spent time with some of the people I love...I just relaxed. And that is good.
Watching The Holiday and totally being obsessed with Jude Law doesn't hurt, either.
7am- alarm goes off. No chance of getting up. Reset alarm for 8.
8am- alarm goes off again. Lay in bed basking in the sun.
8:30am- get up
9:15am-noon- sister's volleyball tournament with mom and dad. They did great!
Noon-4pm- eat lunch, chat with D, do laundry
4:30-5:30pm- pedicure with D. Too bad I'm so ticklish!
5:30-7pm- eat D's grandma's chicken casserole (SO good), more laundry, more chatting
7-9pm- watch The Holiday with a glass of wine
I basically forgot about it being Valentine's Day today until I left the volleyball tournament and my mom said "Happy Valentine's Day!". I have come to really hate this day. Why should love only get one day of celebration all year? I mean, it would be selfish to celebrate yourself every day, so you have one birthday; it would be silly to celebrate something like the Presidents every day, so they get one assigned day. But love? I mean, come on. This is what makes life worth living...the love you have for yourself, your family, your friends, your dog, your plush towels, etc. You should celebrate the loves in your life every day. Saying "I love you" should never be said out of routine or obligation, but look at the person you're saying it to and really, really mean it. I don't want flowers on this day. I don't want red and pink (I really dislike pink) everything. I would rather be reminded on a random day that someone loves me.
Today I celebrated loving myself. I don't have a significant other to tell me how great I am, so I decided to tell myself. I did what I wanted, I spent time with some of the people I love...I just relaxed. And that is good.
Watching The Holiday and totally being obsessed with Jude Law doesn't hurt, either.
2.08.2010
Fresh
Quick re-cap: my last week of Psych was really fun. It was a consultation service, so we were visiting patients who were in the hospital for non-psych reasons or for suicide attempts. Their primary physicians thought there was something psychiatric going on (either causing their problem or a separate problem that needed to be addressed) and wanted our opinion on what to do about it. It was nice to sit, talk the patients about what they thought was going on or what was bothering them, make a recommendation, and walk away. I didn't have to continue to see the patient and be frustrated that they weren't getting better. I do not think I will end up in psych, but I did enjoy a lot of things about it.
I started Neuro today; it was just orientation and a lecture on neuroimaging. I am pretty excited to be at the hospital I am for this rotation. It is world-renowned for neurology, and I know I will learn so much and see so many interesting cases. The only thing I am worried about is liking neurology so much that it throws another wrench in my attempt to figure out what I want to do with my life!
This last weekend was very nice- no studying, no plans, no responsibilities! I had wanted to go on a mini-vacation, but that wasn't in the cards, so I made the best of staying at home! I saw my sister's volleyball team take first place in their tournament, saw my best friend who had just gotten into town, had a little Super Bowl party, and tried to sleep in as much as possible. It's sad to be back at school already, but being excited about this rotation helps me get through it!
I started Neuro today; it was just orientation and a lecture on neuroimaging. I am pretty excited to be at the hospital I am for this rotation. It is world-renowned for neurology, and I know I will learn so much and see so many interesting cases. The only thing I am worried about is liking neurology so much that it throws another wrench in my attempt to figure out what I want to do with my life!
This last weekend was very nice- no studying, no plans, no responsibilities! I had wanted to go on a mini-vacation, but that wasn't in the cards, so I made the best of staying at home! I saw my sister's volleyball team take first place in their tournament, saw my best friend who had just gotten into town, had a little Super Bowl party, and tried to sleep in as much as possible. It's sad to be back at school already, but being excited about this rotation helps me get through it!
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